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I think I lost my chance
Why do I do this? Always missing my chances, not taking advantage of what I have till its gone? "You don't miss your water till your well runs dry," I want him so bad but I don't know if I ever will I think I screwed up So many mixed messages Can one ask plainly "Do you like me?" "Will you date me?" Maybe but not without playing the fools part its so childish in my head If I can get him alone again I'll let him know.... Exactly? something along the lines of 'im not sleeping with anyone else' and see where that takes me "I just thought you should know," I mean that kinda is a big deal for me and its true too I don't want to sleep with anyone else if it means losing him Damn I pathetic from chris to troy to liner to mike what an awful experience its been even before them, alex.... god alex... I wonder where alex is, what he is doing..... If I could remember his last name..... so young! so long ago! why could't I have started caring about how I looked then? Maybe... (more)

Thoughts of JM
Jurutera Penggerudia

Aku macam rasa aku dah tahu apa nak buat dengan hidup ni. Okay, tak perlu dramatik sangat. Haha. Aku rasalah aku tau. Mungkin tak de lah nampak kesemuanya lagi. Cuma dalam bidang pekerjaan aku... mungkin dah ternampak sikit jalan. Teranglah sikit berbanding tahun sebelumnya. Dan buat masa sekarang, hati aku masih bertekad dengan jalan ni. Mungkin dari dulu lagi aku dah terfikirkannya. Cuma aku tak yakin dengan diri sendiri lagi masa tu. Nak kata sekarang dah yakin pun tak jugaklah. Cumanya, aku kira aku dah berani untuk keluar dari ruang selamat aku. Aku tak rasa jalan yang aku pilih ni akan senang tapi ia tidak mustahil. Itu aku tahu. Apa aku nak sebenarnya? Aku nak jadi Drilling Engineer. Jurutera Penggerudian dalam bahasa melayunya. Kalau ikutkan aku memang bekerja sebagai Drilling Engineer sekarang. Tapi bagi aku sekarang perkataan "Drilling Engineer" tu hanyalah perkataan. Aku tak rasa aku seorang jurutera sekarang. Masih terlalu mentah. Ilmu di dada tak boleh buat buku lagi.... (more)

Daily Devotion
The Mark Of Christ
Date: Sunday, August 31, 2014 Today's Chapters: Ezekiel 8-11 Message Title: The Mark Of Christ Hello My Friend, When Jesus walked the earth in the flesh, He lived among the Jews, as He was born into a Jewish family, He would walk from town to town, find a few believers, but the majority of them would reject Him. Today, it is not much different, many still reject Him. A converted Jewish missionary said that Orthodox Jews only read the first five books of the Bible (Torah), then they stop there because the rest states the connection of Jesus. Perhaps they, as well as the rest of the people who believe in God, but reject Christ, hope that their ignorance will justify their actions. What they fail to realize is that the entire Bible is connected to Jesus, after all, He is the Word made flesh, and He is the only hope. “Who hath ascended up into heaven, or descended? who hath gathered the wind in his fists? who hath bound the waters in a garment? who hath established all the ends of... (more)

The Ones We Love
DestroyRun. Run as far away as you can. You know this life is unsustainable. You have no reason to stay. Any reasons you could come up with are immaterial and, ultimately, wishful thinking. You've done it before. You know you're capable of starting over. You would be able to keep the same jobs, too. Even get paid better if you moved to a certain somewhere. It's just a house. It's just stuff. You are you wherever you go.ControlStay. Stay for as long as you can. You'll never have a place like this ever again. You'll be under someone else's thumb again if you leave. All your friends are here. It's fucking exhausting starting over. Living where it snows sucks. You'd only be doing it due to lack of other options. Running is for cowards. How has running ever helped you in the past? You have never stayed. Not once. Because staying means that you need something. And when you need something, you can get hurt.SynthesisLet go. Just let go. You stay in your house because you're afraid of... (more)

The Common Ills
Iraq snapshot
Iraq snapshot Monday, September 2, 2014. Chaos and violence continue, cowardice continues (Barack's being tricked into doing bad things -- just like Ross on Friends!), bad things including sending more US troops into Iraq, Amnesty International thinks peace is achieved by being one-sided and silent when governments do wrong, Tony Blair wins an award, and much more (much worse?). We spoke to one professor's three classes today and, after the second one, he asked, "Does this make you feel better or worse?" He handed me a print out of Tom Engelhardt's "The Escalation Follies." And the answer? I'm so sick of this nonsense. TE writes: ISIS's urge was undoubtedly to bait the Obama administration into a significant intervention. And in that, it may prove successful. We are now, after all, watching a familiar version of the escalation follies at work in Washington. Obama and his top officials are clearly on the up... (more)

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